That Time I Realized It Wasn’t Just in My Head

Let me tell you my story.

About 10 years ago, I started feeling… off. Not sick, not broken—just not myself. I felt like I was moving through my day in a vague fog. A little bit like being in a constant dream state. I was tired in a way that sleep couldn’t fix. A waning libido. My heart would race for no reason (probably the scariest symptom). Cellulite appeared seemingly overnight. And don’t even get me started on the ramped-up anxiety I felt in almost every aspect of my life. Health anxiety in particular had been especially crippling.

The Symptoms No One Warned Me About

I was in my mid forties during this time, and none of these symptoms were what I would have expected.. Did you notice I didn't mention hot flashes? Did you also notice that I didn't report irregular periods? That's because none of that was happening - yet.

At that point in my life, literally the ONLY symptom I was aware of at the time that signaled peri-menopause were irregular periods. That wasn't happening. So what was my problem? Why did I not feel like myself what felt like almost overnight? I had no answers, so I did what we’re taught to do: I went to the doctor.

The Dismissal

My first attempt at help was at a regular visit to my gynecologist. I vulnerably reported my tanked libido, only to be told to go "go on more dates". That's it. (Spoiler: that did nothing). Zero discussion beyond that.

The next three doctors I went to for my other symptoms at least pretended to make an effort. They prescribed medication that they seemed to think might help. I was hopeful they'd get to the bottom of this, but I just left those appointments knowing this was not it.

The medications I was sent home with included antibiotics, nasal spray (huh?), anxiety and depression meds, and a suggestion I see a therapist. Yes, that happened, and I'll bet you might be knowingly nodding your head right now. Not one of them mentioned hormones. Not one even uttered the word "perimenopause".

Connecting the Dots

Sadly it wasn't until years later, well into the throws of menopause, was I able to look back and identify that time as perimenopause. That whole time, my body wasn’t betraying me. It was transitioning. I was in perimenopause, and our society nor the medical community had prepared me for it.

And that’s what makes me the most frustrated: How many of us are dismissed, misdiagnosed, or made to feel like we’re imagining things. How many of us are told we’re “too young” or “too emotional” or “just tired.” How many of us walk around thinking we’re the only ones unraveling.

We’re not.

Perimenopause is real. It can start as early as your 30's, so don't let them tell you you're too young. And don't forget it doesn’t always show up with the “classic” symptoms. Sometimes it’s rage. Sometimes it’s brain fog. Sometimes it’s a deep, aching fatigue that makes you question everything.

You’re Not Alone

If your doctor isn’t listening, find one who will. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself. You know your body better than anyone else. Even if it's a symptom that's not "typical", which is surprisingly a pretty long list. You can check out how to find a doctor who is NAMS certified here.

Going forward, here’s what I want you to know:

You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. A you’re not alone. Advocate for yourself and others.

This blog—and this space—is for women like us. Those of us who are navigating midlife with curiosity, courage, and hopefully a little bit of humor. We're tired of being dismissed. Women who are and ready to feel seen, heard, and supported.

So if you’re reading this and nodding along, welcome. You’ve found your people.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s normalize it. Let’s rewrite the story of midlife—together.