How I Learned to Rest Without Any Guilt

A Life of Doing

My background: I’ve worked full-time since I was 18. In my early 20s, I juggled part-time college classes with a full-time job, chasing stability and ambition. In my 30's I married, had two children, and continued working full-time until my late 40s—when I made the decision to step away from my career to care for my elderly father. For decades, my identity was wrapped in productivity, responsibility, and showing up for others. Rest wasn’t something I earned—it was something I postponed.

The Guilt That Lingers

Even after stepping away from the workforce, I found myself struggling to rest. I’d sit down with a book and feel the tug of “shoulds”—I should be cleaning the kitchen, organizing that overstuffed closet, weeding my Dad's garden, answering those texts and emails. Especially now that I wasn't working a full time, traditional job, I felt I must be constantly "doing" to make up for it. Guilt whispered that rest was laziness. That I hadn’t “done enough” to deserve it. That someone else surely had it harder.

What Changed: A Midlife Awakening

Somewhere between caring for my father, watching my kids grow into adults, and rediscovering who I am and what I wanted out of this life, I had to remind myself: Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a right. And more than that—it’s a radical act of self-care.

Resting Without Guilt

Here are some gentle, practical things I've had to say and do for myself that brought me back to me, and without the baggage of feeling selfish:

1. Redefine Productivity

• It isn’t just doing—it’s being.

• Rest fuels creativity, clarity, and emotional resilience.

• Try reframing rest as an investment in your future self.

2. Schedule It Like a Priority

• Block out some time for rest the way you would a meeting or chore.

• Treat it as non-negotiable.

• Use tools like a printable weekly planner to visually protect your rest time.

3. Start Small

• Rest doesn’t have to be big like a whole spa day or a weekend away.

• A 10-minute walk, sitting with a cup of tea or your favorite coffee, or even a guilt-free nap counts!

• Celebrate small moments of stillness. Sit with it and do your best to stay in the moment

4. Use Affirmations

• Try saying to yourself “My worth is not measured by my output." or “I am allowed to pause.”  

• You can even refer to printable affirmation cards to keep nearby as reminders

5. Unfollow the Hustle

• Curate your social media to include voices that honor rest, softness, and balance. Limit terms like "hustle" or "girl boss" for when you're in that mode. Don't live your days by them.

• Follow creators who model slow living and self-compassion.

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6. Reflect on Your Story

• Journal about the messages you received growing up about rest.

• Ask: Who benefits when I feel guilty for resting? Really explore that one. You know the answer.

• Reclaim your narrative. Outside noise about "shoulds" are toxic.

Rest as Resistance

Learning to rest without guilt is still a work in progress for me and maybe for you too. But each time I choose rest, I’m choosing to honor the woman I’ve become—the one who’s given so much, and who now deserves to receive. It can be that simple. If you’re reading this and feeling that same tug of guilt, I want you to know: you’ve earned your rest a thousand times over. And you don’t need to earn it again.